Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Bill Simmons on Being a Parent of Young Kids

I don't read his column regularly, but I was browsing through ESPN.COM over the weekend and came across this gem from Bill Simmons. I don't think you have to be a parent to appreciate this, but it might help. My wife and I were rolling on the floor laughing!
Important note: Being a parent of young kids sucks. Don't let anyone tell you differently. About six months ago, I wanted to start a Twitter account of quotes my wife screamed in the heat of those my-kids-are-driving-me-crazy-moments such as these: "If you don't stop crying, I am going to stick you in the microwave!!!!" and "Fine, climb up the stairs again; I hope you fall down, I really do!" She wouldn't let me because she thought child services would arrest us. The truth is, every parent snaps from time to time. We can't help it. Our kids' job is to suck all forms of life from us, frighten us, embarrass us in public and prevent us from sleeping until they turn 4. We pretend it's not so bad when, really, it's mostly horrible and even somewhat indefensible. But -- and this is a big but -- they parcel out just enough, "Wow, I'm so glad I had kids" moments to make it all worth it. And that's what Halloween is: an entire "Wow, I'm so glad I had kids" day. At least until they eat too much chocolate and wake us up at 5 the next morning because they're Exorcist vomiting. But I digress.
Link to Full Column

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